Oops, I did it Again...

Today was a strange one. 

With Ami being poorly, sleep has been a rare occurrence for both him and I (and dad too). Thankfully I can cope pretty well (for a while) without sleep. I've learned to over the years. I always joke with people that being an insomniac prior to parenthood becomes a big blessing in parenthood. When I was in my late teens, I always battled sleep; thus having Ami, I now feel thankful to have an actual purpose behind the sleeplessness. 

For those of you who know me well, you will know that when I am tired, I find everything funny. I prefer this method to tears; it is how I cope and perhaps you are the same. 

However, today I could fend off the tears no longer. Because TODAY the pile of dishes and dirty kitchen frustrated me. Yesterday, I let is slide, but today was a different story. My insecurities of what 'she' thought of me consumed my mind (she being, society). 

The thought of preparing tonight's meal seemed an impossible task. Our house felt messy and I felt weak.

 Alas, the moment came when little Ami man fell asleep for the first time in many hours. I was so relieved to see him peacefully dreaming and no longer restless. This filled my heart with joy. But in the quiet, the voices begin to speak to me. 'She' began to speak to me. Her voice getting louder and louder. And what could I do, but sheepishly bow to her and give in? 

I mustered up the strength to tackle the kitchen. Yes, tackle (it was a MESS). After about an hour, my work was done and the kitchen was back to the way I liked it. Tidy and orderly. 

But I could still feel 'her' lurking. 

I suddenly felt the urge to take a picture of my work so that 'she' could see my achievement and applaud me. 

How could I be so foolish? How could I have fallen in to her trap again?! I began to get frustrated with myself. Here I was slaving away according to 'her' rules. 

You see, behind Society's door lies a perfect home with everything in its place. Behind her door lies an immaculate kitchen; her laundry basket is empty and so is the washing machine. Behind society's door, the children stick to a perfect routine leaving adequate time for her to keep up with her masquerade. She smiles as she checks off her to-do list for the day. 

Sadly, I must confess, I walked through Society's door today. And as I walked in I marveled at her perfection; as I left, I bowed my head in shame, convincing myself I could achieve such a standard. Her standard.

Then it hit me, Society can only see behind my front door IF I invite 'her' in. 

And between you and me, I don't want to invite 'her' in. I want to invite 'Him' in! Who is He you may ask? Mr. Perfection Himself. 

The Mr. Perfection who, although He who knew no sin, became sin for me--for us that we might be come the righteousness of God (2 Corinthians 5:21). His is the standard I want to choose. His is the standard I will strive to choose on a daily basis, even when I think I'd rather invite 'her' to come in. 

You see, when 'she' enters, she condemns. When He enters, He says He has no condemnation for me (Romans 8:1). He sees beauty where she sees imperfection. He sees wholeness, where she sees chaos. Why? Because He sees US. He knows us, He knows our mess, yet He still fully loves us AND accepts us. 

He sets the standard because he Himself is perfect. He is Jesus, my Rescuer. He died so that I might live in the freedom of His love; along with the freedom that comes from His standard. His standard that says, I welcome you and I love you, dirty dishes and all. His standard is one of grace. 

Society cannot see behind your front door, unless you invite her in. 

Yes, being a good steward of what you have been given and the home you occupy is important. But give yourself a break. 

I'm trying to give myself a break, but it isn't easy, and I know you quite possibly will feel the same. 

Perhaps me starting the conversation will encourage you to sit back, take a moment, and enjoy the stillness (whilst ignoring her knock at the door, begging you to let her in.)

Tonight I am choosing to invite HIM into my mess. To invite HIM in for a cold cup of tea (because it's been sat out for far too long) and a genuine heart-to-heart chat. Because I know that when He shows up at my door, He has come for me. He has come to see me and be with me. He wants to sit down and stay for as long as I will have him, no hidden agenda.

Who will you invite into your home today? 

And the winner is...

Congratulations to our contest winner, Rachel Hodge! She has won the £20 gift voucher to Mothercare. 

Thanks to those of you who "entered"; you are all wonderful mums and I wish I had a gift card for each of you!

Stay tuned for more drawings and contests in the future, but until then, just know how much you matter. You are amazing. 

Short-term memory loss

"I'm so sorry. You see, I suffer from short-term memory loss. It's true...I forget things almost instantly; it runs in my family. At least I think it does...? Hmmm...where are they? Can I help you? Hi, I'm Dory." -Dory 

"Something's wrong with you." -Marlin

Good old Finding Nemo. It is one of my all-time favourite films. It is cute, funny and quotable for all occasions (I've tested this theory).

But sometimes I believe Marlin's assessment of dory...about myself; I too am a blue tang...a real dory fish (thank you google). You see, I often do silly things or forget things I shouldn't and therefore, feel like something's wrong with me. 

And the truth is, becoming a mom has only added to my dory-ness. I often get frustrated with myself for being so forgetful or mindless, even to the point of tears. Ridiculous right? I know. But perhaps you've shed one or two yourself?

Between the fresh nappies, wipes, necessary extra changes of clothes, his stuffed animal, the teething gel, his dummy, and changing mat I get lost in an ocean of "things to remember". 

Last month I set a new record:

-Broke 3 of my husbands favourite pint glasses...that he's had for years (It was hard to tell him...)

-Lost our credit card...

-Dropped a glass bottle of soy sauce on our kitchen floor...spilling it all over our tile and cupboards...

-Typed in the wrong PIN number three times (yes, the same 4 digits) because I was certain it was right only to have my card locked, forcing me to leave the grocery store with nothing...

There was probably more, but surprise! I can't remember anymore! Ha. 

The point is...these "silly" things we do or forget as moms...it's NORMAL! Why should we remember everything when we're functioning (or attempting to) on a couple hours of sleep?

Why should we realise our shirts are on backwards when our children's are on right?

The truth is, we forget the things that really don't matter in the long run, because we're remembering the ones who matter most: our children. 

So the next time you have a "dory moment" like me, I'd encourage you to remember (and myself too) just how well you're doing in all the other aspects of mom life. You're being a wonderful, selfless and loving mom. What could be better?

Oh and as for all the "ridiculous" things we do or forget, well I'm learning they make for hilarious stories after the fact. So let's enjoy our stories, share them, throw our hands up in the air and laugh together...because the truth is....we're all blue tangs swimming in an ocean of things to remember. 

Happy weekend, Moms! It's an honour to swim in the same ocean as you. 

Love,

A natural blue

Can you relate?

Let's get practical: Gift card give away!

Congrats! We've made it to Wednesday! The week is half over and you're doing great!

As moms, there always seems to be something we need but don't have, bigger clothes (hopefully for them and not us, but sometimes it's both ha!), wipes, nappies, dummies, to replace the ones that have been lost or...misplaced and much much more. Whatever it is, they need it and sometimes we just don't have it! So, to start our journey together off on a practical foot, I will be giving away a £20 gift card to Mothercare! (UK residents only on this one, sorry guys! More to come in the future though...stay tuned)

To enter the competition, simply leave a comment below on this post or comment on Facebook with one word describing how you are feeling today or how your week has been. One word. Simple, short and sweet! 

To make it fair (because i wish i could give it to each of you), a week from today I will put all the names of the people who commented into a hat (or contraption of the sort...whatever I can find in that moment) then draw the lucky moms's name!

Don't be shy, every mom deserves something nice! So get commenting with your one word description and good luck...oh and pregnant moms count too! 

Baby is crying so that's my queue!

Have a great day!

Rachel

Attention everyone, I would like to make a toast...

For those of you who had a chance to read my post about challenging and changing the "Mom culture" or what I like to refer to as 'the comparison culture", you can probably guess what this new blog will be about. If you didn't read my former post, then I assume you either wound up here by mistake (sorry!), or you are a friend or family member reading out of curiosity or unspoken obligation. Most likely, it was option number two. Regardless of how you found me, I'm just very glad you're here.

I'd like to think as this as a conversation starter. 

If you are a mom, then this is for you. If you are a child, then this could also be for you (to help you learn to appreciate your mom or at least how much she loves you). If you are a husband or partner then perhaps I am doing you a favour by letting you in on a few secrets--secrets about the female mind that could go a long way to helping you understand us (is it possible?) Whoever you are, you wouldn't be here without your mom. So whoever she is, whatever the relationship, whether distant or near, alive or no longer living (I'm sorry),  I'd encourage you to raise your invisible glass to her. And if you pray, maybe to whisper a quick prayer thanking God for her and what she went through to get you here.

That's the beauty of a toast. Most of the time they are short and sweet (most of the time)...

As a 23 year old, new, and inexperienced mom in training (MIT), encouraging, supporting, and journeying with other moms has become a real passion of mine. Simply put, the idea of this blog is to do just that: to toast moms. Or in other words...bless them, encourage them, honour them, and hopefully make them feel a little more loved and a little more valued, in hopes that they will come to grasp just how much they are valued.

Thanks again for stopping by. Cheers to you, moms! Looking forward to our journey together in between the nappy changes, feeding schedules, school runs...you name it.

Happy...Momming? Hmm,. I'll work on that one.

Mom culture: the comparison game

I love being a mom. It's the best. It's not always easy, but not a day goes by when I wish my life was different. However, sadly there is one thing that no person, no book, or no "mom forum" told me about and that is the comparison culture of our time. Although, even if someone had warned me I don't think anything could have prepared me for this. Perhaps it is because being a mom can be a thankless job? Or because moms feel undervalued or unappreciated? Or maybe even it is that they/we feel insecure and uncertain and therefore we must validate ourselves by comparison? Whatever the reason--we all do it, whether we like it or not, intentional or unintentional. Comparison to whom you might ask? Well strangely enough, comarison to those we have most in common with. Fellow moms! We look to those who know how it feels and long for their affirmation and appreciation because they of all people should know exactly what we need to hear. Sadly this desire for a simple pat on the back or a, "You're doing great" comment can turn into a twisted rivalry in which we fall into the trap of subconsciously (or consciously) exalting ourselves or our methods. Sounds a little backwards and ridiculous when we hear it or read it aloud...doesn't it?

But I'd like to propose an idea (a bold one...but I must):

What if we were to use what binds us together as moms to encourage each other INSTEAD of using it as ammunition? 

What if we could change the culture and share our experiences in a positive way to bring good, comfort, and reassurance to newer moms who need us, our stories, and our experiences (good and bad)?

You see, I too am guilty of this. In order to make myself feel better, my story can top yours, and vise versa. And sadly in this culture we create even more discouraged moms. When my son is sleeping, yours has been up all night and you are utterly exhausted. And when I am finding myself worn down and discouraged, your child is taking steps early and saying "ma-ma"...etc. If you are a mom, then you might be able to relate. 

There is no handbook for being a mom, even though many books claim to be. To my surprise everything I've actually tried to do "by the book", as it were, has failed. But perhaps for your child/children it's worked perfectly, like clockwork. You see, from what I've been learning that is both the beauty and frustration of motherhood. Our children are all so unique (But what a wonderful thing!) 

If you are a mom, then the following is especially for you, so please listen closely.

Firstly, I wish I could throw my arms around you and thank you in person for who you are. You deserve many hugs and many high fives, (along with a hot cup of coffee or tea and a bubble bath!)

Next...believe me when I say...

Whether your pregnancy was filled with sickness or it went as smoothly as could be, well done. Well done for sustaining that precious life inside of you for so long and for enduring all that discomfort!

Whether your labor was 15 minutes or 72 hours, congratulations! You are a superhero. What you have done is an incredible thing. And whether men affirm you or not, they think you are superwoman for it. 

Whether you breast fed or bottle fed, I'm so proud of you for sustaining your child's life through feeding of both sorts. 

Whether your children sleep through the night or you are tirelessly waking every hour tending to their every need, you are amazing!

Whether you've lost the baby weight or are struggling to face yourself in the mirror, you are truly a beautiful human being (Just think what that body did to get humans here! It shouldn't ever look the same)!

Whether your child or children have children of their own or you are just starting out, I think the world of you! 

Well done Moms. Well done!

Today, I choose to honour you and challenge this comparison culture that (most likely) both you and I would prefer not to be apart of.

Love, 

A new, in-experienced, and learning-as-she-goes "Mom"